Managing Expectations

Updates slowed down while I ground out to-do’s on the challenge requirements, but now they’re going to pick back up, because MultiTab 6000. Everyone gets a MultiTab!

No, not bees, Oprah. MultiTab 6000s. They’re better than bees.

The first order of business was getting Forsythia trained up, aged up, and packed off to boarding school. I personally found Acacia’s choice of vocabulary words somewhat ironic, under the circumstances:

I hate to keep casting your past up to you, Acacia, but what would you know about it?

Forsythia is a very cute kid and you don’t see Clumsy and Grumpy express themselves as toddlers. If only she could have remained an adorable toddler forever!

But that isn’t how it works, of course, and it does get old making sure someone’s emptied the potty chair.

I wasn’t sure what to do about her Child trait. Technically, she’s the spare to Fern; were she to take over, she would need to have Loves the Outdoors. I don’t really think anything’s going to happen to put Fern on ice, but then again, she IS Unlucky, and meteor showers happen–not to mention more ordinary phenomena, like lightning strikes. With that reasoning, I went ahead and gave Forsythia Loves the Outdoors. Now she can garden clumsily and grumpily! But first, she’s headed to Fort Starch Military Academy.

Meanwhile, Fern has continued to climb the Science ladder. I think she’s about level 6 in that career track now. It finally occurred to me that she’d come home singed less often if I just had Acacia cast a Good Luck charm on her before work, so I’ve started doing that. Fern always expresses some initial trepidation

and given that it’s Acacia doing the casting, I can understand it.

Acacia remains the real breadwinner in the family, even though Fern, Monte, and Cortez all have jobs. None of them beats Alchemy for Simoleans, though.

Investing in properties around town would be a surefire money-maker, but I’ve never done that and had it end in anything but a corrupted save file. Not worth it to me. Acacia can just keep brewing up Wish-Enhancing Serums. And (sigh) Cure Elixirs.

Let’s talk zombies! They’ve started spawning on the lot again, thankfully.

And Acacia scored two important-to-me Potent Cures: Michael Bachelor (GET OUT OF THE GAME!) and River McIrish. Die, you two! Die like the normal human Sims you now are. I mean, to give you some idea–River McIrish was Bjorn’s boss back when he was just a lowly paperboy.

But for all that? For all that, Acacia’s count of unique cures stands at only 10. When she gets to 12 I’m going to throw myself an actual party. (I’m not really going to do this. What on earth would I put on the invitations?). Then, I’m going to kick her out. I’ll miss her money, but not her. This just shouldn’t be such a struggle. Maybe if the same freakin’ Sims didn’t keep getting zombified, getting to 12 unique cures would be easier.

Or maybe I should just send her to university. Zombies LOVE university.

“My major? My major is eating your brains, if you’re really slow and really, really stupid.”

As noted many a time here, though, I hate University Life. It’s better than it was in Sims 2; I’ll give it that. I used to set my Sims up in a dorm and just leave them running overnight in Sims 2. Once, I had one of them fail out doing that, but it only happened once, and it was still worth it. That is how long and slow and boring university was in Sims 2. It is slightly better in Sims 3, and I like that it can be exploited to buy time. That’s why I sent Cortez back to complete his degree.

Sure, I wanted him to have it, but what I really wanted was for him to boost his painting enough to paint a portrait of Fern, who was now 7 days from Adult. WHAT? Where does the time go?!

Anyway, I got Cortez a couple of roommates

so they could break everything, and Cortez could fix it all. Hey, he’s Handy–I figured he may as well boost that skill, too.

Two weeks of university + roommates breaking everything + Tool Talk tabcasts = Cortez maximized Handiness while at school. Nice work, Cortez! We’ll be enjoying those Build mode discounts, oh yes we will. And you can enjoy your degree in Communications that I set you up with because I forgot you were a Loner Sim.

(I do wish they didn’t always seem to get their report cards in the bathroom.)

Aww, he’s so delighted! And I’m delighted that for two Sim weeks I didn’t have to play Acacia. It’s not just me, right, Cortez? Your mother-in-law is kind of a case.

“Hey, I’m just going to enjoy this Veggie Burger while she babbles about Bigfoot or the Yeti or whatever.”

That’s not a hairstyle I chose for Acacia’s swimwear. That is the game’s random pick because the hair I bought from the store is apparently not enabled for all outfits. *shakes fist* I hope one day someone less lazy than I am sues you for fraud, EA. I really and truly do.

With Cortez home and MULTITABS FOR EVERYONE, the next priority was getting Fern her 10th gardening point. Fern carries on the proud Bloom tradition of gardening in her nightie, by the way.

I do have her shower every morning and after gardening, I swear! She’s just in her nightie because the other priority was getting her knocked up.

Success! I have given both her and Cortez the Fertility Treatment reward, so this should be very interesting.

Time to get to work on that portrait of your beautiful wife, Cortez!

“Can I listen to some more tabcasts while I paint?”

May I listen to some more tabcasts–and yes. Yes, you may. In fact, I insist on it.

Oh, dear. I’m not sure this is

turning out too . . . ? Huh. Well.

Fern? Thoughts?

“Must there be visible thought bubbles in every portrait?”

There must until I get good at positioning the camera. You could help me out by not thinking of dumb stuff so often, you know.

“Well, the good news is, this looks like something Van Gogh might have painted. The bad news is, this looks like something Van Gogh might have painted in the midst of a psychotic break.”

Take that up with your husband, honey. I still think it’s better than your mother’s red devil look.

Now, I know what you’re wondering: What about Monte? Just kidding–no one wonders about Monte. But if anyone cares, Monte goes to work. Then he comes home and he eats and he sits in the hot tub making no friends whatsoever, because I don’t have time to humor his delusions of Super Popularity.

It never works out when I try to help Monte, anyway. Like, one evening I sent him to the Summer Festival, but on his way there it started raining, so when he arrived the whole place was empty–even the vendors had split. So I sent him across the street to the gym, because there are always Sims at the gym. He introduced himself to this guy:

and then I looked over and saw two very familiar Sims on the treadmills–a first for at least one of them. Yes, this kid turned out to be Zander Bjorn Bloom.

He’s cute! Too bad he’s related. This town needs more cute guy teens.

You watch, the next heir will wind up picking between THIS fella in overalls and THAT fella in overalls. At least one of them will be balding. Both will be within 48 hours of their elder birthdays.